Hi, my name is Sasha and I have a question. I am in a relationship and was planning to marry my boyfriend; I love him very much and we make each other very happy, that was until I found out that he is a porn addict and has been one for 16 years. I am so shocked and sad and I don't know if I can trust him ever again? Can I trust him around any women? Can I compare porn to real people? Or if I find his actions unacceptable, should I end the relationship? He has stopped looking at porn and destroyed all of the rest. I feel that it is my fault that he was looking and I can't help but to take it personally. Do you have any advice?
5 comments:
Sasha, you know what you can and cannot accept as a person. You also are the only one that can judge if he has indeed changed his ways. It will be up to the two of you. He may or may not stop. You may or may not be able to accept it. His addiction is not your fault. You may also want to consider counseling to help resolve the issue of your feelings and his addiction
Changing the men is almost always impossible dear Sasha. If he has cheated on you up to 16 yrs. He definitely will do it again and again
I have such a huge lack of trust that I don't even trust my boyfriend going to the store for 5 minutes...I hate that I feel like this but I am the kind of person where I need to know whats going on all the time, every step of the way and its killing me and all of my close relationships... Its so bad that I have gotten in the habit of hurting people before they hurt me so that it will serve as ammunition for when they eventually hurt me down the road...Crazy I know!!! So I really hope that this works for me!!!
Some people are not trustworthy, but we need to be able to make that distinction and trust ourselves and God
In a relationship once you loss trust and confidence in each other, it affects the relationship in a very negative way.
As far as I'm concerned there is no way to change a man. If he is a dog, he will always be a dog. Never think you will change a man. You either accept him the way he is or leave him.
It is up to you to decide if you can trust him again or live with him for the rest of your life knowing he will always do the same things over and over again.
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