Hi, am into a relation for 1.5yrs now. I love this guy to madness, he sure does love me too.But only after getting into this relation I got to know from that he haS had A number of affairs..in other words he was a flirt. Till few months back i have had bitter experiences like his female friends saying that he is cheating on me, flirting around with them etc...I also found him flirting with girls on chat.. facebook and myspace.. Today he shows me so much love and care that i never dreamt i would get from him. He trusts me a lot, treats me like a baby. he also swears that he has stopped his all bad habits..... Though I haven't had such bitter experiences off late, few of his close friends say that he is serious about me, they are suprised by the huge change in him....I find it difficult to trust him. I check his social networks, phone, ask him where is he etc I feel very insecured if he goes out. In other words am not able to give the space, at times he complains that I dont let himm do wat he likes, give space... I love him alot, he too loves me..But why am so insecured, am not able to trust him, I feel uncomfortable if he makes frds with girls, Am not able to forget the past let alone forgive... Can a play boy really change and love a girl truly?
Please help.I want a happy relation with him. He says he is happy with me. But with all my negative behaviour towards him, I fear he ll leave me someday....
Please help.I want a happy relation with him. He says he is happy with me. But with all my negative behaviour towards him, I fear he ll leave me someday....
4 comments:
My husband reveled his affair to me and I was able to forgive. The forget part keeps resurfacing. Does this mean I have not yet forgiven his acts? I have felt it will take time to forget as I have stuggled yet with the thoughts of revenge and the consequences of that. Does forgive and forget go hand in hand?? If I forgive him do I also forgive her? That I can not do.
Forgetting is the development of a plan of action between the two of you to heal the scars resulting from the behavior
In my opinion you can forgive him but will never forget. It is so difficult to forget and trust this person completely again.
I agree with Lud. You both have to work on the part to forget this. Maybe he will have to gain your trust agian for you to be able to forget this and move on from there.
I completely agree with Lud. You'll have to work on the forgetting part together. Talking from experience, forgetting doesn't come cheap believe me. It won't take a day neither will it take a year or more. It will take you just the amount of time and energy he puts into getting your relationship back to where it was before the affair. The problem is, you see yourself as the one with issues because you can't forget, when it's not your fault. He put you in that position and took away what you had in abundance and replaced it with something you obviously didn't bargain for. So only he can help you forget faster. You don't have to sit on his case for this to happen... if he's making an effort worth noticing, you'll comfortably settle into that relationship again without even realising
Post a Comment