About two years ago my husband cheated on me and got the “other woman” pregnant. A lot has gone on since then and I remained with my husband. Now, I’ve never liked this chick from the beginning. So. After all has been said and done and we are all (sorta) comfortably pretending the others don’t exist, keep having dreams about her. First that she lived in my neighborhood. Then that she would come to my house with her daughter. (She is NOT welcome anywhere near me.) Then that my family would invite her to family functions (never in a million years) then get mad at ME for getting upset with it. I dream about this once or twice a week and I wake up incredibly angry every time. I get that I have unresolved issues with this, but what’s up? Why does it keep invading my head while I’m sleeping?
5 comments:
Dreams like this can be seen from a psychological perspective or a spiritual perspective. True she may have some unresolved issues that need to be acknowledged and dealt this. But on the flip side, the dreams may be a sign of how close this individual really is to her family...particularly her husband. It may be a way to prepare her for events to come. Interesting!
Temeka
As crazy as it sounds, YOU NEED TO FORGIVE HER, I believe that is the reason for those dreams, for you and for that little girl who did not ask to be born in such circumstances. Put yourself in her shoes (the little girl I mean, she would want to be with her father not matter what goes on between the parents).
You are the one having the dreams. Nightmares, if I may saying given the fact that it is of somene you do NOT particularly care about and the need to keep someone away from you, is stressful. All the hard work you put into detesting this woman for having a kid with your husband and forget that even though you forgave him, he had a big role in initiating a relationship with her. You might be sitting there worrying about this woman and he is somewhere doing another knowing he is forgiven which is what they expected would happen. They knew the worse that could happen is that you would angry and do God knows what. What they do not know and have no idea how to handle it is you forgiving both of them. They will be at your mercy.
Your issue should be less with her and more with your husband. You may have developed trust issues with both of them because of what happened. Which is normal.
Remember, she controls you as long as you do not forgive her. She gains your husbands sympathy but when you do, you free yourself and control your situation and they will be more respectful (or cautious if they are the stubborn drama type) of you because you do not act the way they expect which the opposite of what you are doing right now. I dont mean take her in your home and your family bbq's and stuff. I am saying swallow the pain but make them wish they never made that mistake. You have a problem with her now because she has a child with him, he may have had other women and never had kids with them and you are joke.
Fear is the essence of anger. When are angry, there is something you are afraid of. Someone taking something from you, either your time, money, property or loved one. Faith is the essence of peace. When you have faith, you have no fear of anything because you know it will come and you have peace within you. That being said; WHERE THERE IS FAITH, THERE IS NO FEAR AND WHERE THERE IS FEAR, THERE IS NO FAITH.
No matter what you say, deep down inside, you still do not trust your husband and it is easy to take it out on her than on him, because you think you need him.
What is Love without TRUST?
Temeka what preparation are you talking about..this lady needs to know her thoughts influences her dreams.
I like the part of forgiveness @ Anze
Great advice
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